We can't will our fruits from blossoming. There is only one way to deal with bad-tasting fruit, and that is to kill the root. A fruit can't be nourished if there is no root. Rather than growing frustrated over the discouraging nature of our fruit, we can be encouraged to recognize that our fruit will die if the root dies.
When I reacted with hypersensitivity or defensiveness to Phil, I learned to check the root. Was I operating out of a faulty assumption? My answer was usually yes. Phil wasn't devaluing me in a moment of messiness or forgetfulness. His thoughts weren't even about me when he left the toilet seat up. (I guess I'm glad for that on some level.)
Choose one of the fruits you posted and describe what triggers that thought, reaction, or feeling:
What underlying assumption feeds that thought or feeling?
Keep in mind what you write is a root.
Defensiveness - fruit
ReplyDeletelack of self worth -root
feelings of failure-fruit
ReplyDeleteinsecurity-root