Judy Rowland

Judy Rowland
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Question #3 Nov. 17th, 2010

As a young wife, I brought my share of faulty assumptions into marriage. My thought closet's ill-fitting beliefs clothed me with wrong thinking. Those misguided thoughts grew into unrealistic expectations, and i couldn't understand why Pil didn't get it! How could he be so insensitive?
I entertained thoughts like, If he really valued me, he would pick up his clothes and lower the toilet seat. I thought if Phil did something I didn't like, he didn't value my opinion or think it was important. When he handled things differently, I supposed his priorities were out of line. I assumed that it was all about me. Does that sound like a faulty assumption to you? 

What faulty assumptions have you held? If you're not married, answer based on a close relationship (parent, child, sibling, friend, boyfriend).

Post three examples and then tell how one assumption impacted your relationship.

2 comments:

  1. 1.) I assumed that I would never drive and would be dependent on others my entire life.
    2.) I assumed the same thing that JR did about such things as toilet seats etc. One of my top love languages is Acts of Service so I still struggle with this.
    3.)He assumed I would do all the cleaning as him mother did, and I assumed he would help with the cleaning.

    One time we had a big fight about who would hand wash his wool socks. He told me to do it and said, "My mom always washed them out by hand." I proceeded to let those socks sit on the bathroom floor for weeks!

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  2. I assumed as a young 18 yr old bride that life would now be all about romance......reality set in quickly.

    My husband was a drummer in a Christian band when we met and was gone alot up until our oldest child was 2. I assumed that if he really loved me he would choose me and our son over the band....it took about 4 yrs for us to come to terms with where his music fit into our lives.

    Whenever he would say anything about how I did something, I assumed I wasn't doing it correctly and was a failure

    When my husband and I first met, I had very low self esteem. My husband has always accepted me and loved me so unconditionally, but I had a hard time accepting that....and sought approval and validation, expecting him to constantly "prove" how much he loved me. He told me one time that I could never completely love him until I learned to love myself. I didn't get that for a long time, but as I grew older, matured physically, emotionally but most of all spiritually, I realized how true that was.

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